Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

Photo of smiling woman too nice to be a Boss?
Tips from a Dog Trainer

You’ve worked your way up the ladder in the company because of your careful work, dependability and team-player work style.  But now in a management position, you’re uncomfortable telling others what to do or worse – disciplining them.  Are you too nice to be a boss?

In a previous post, I described the 4 major personality types evident in the animal world, and how these same personalities are represented in the human animal.  In Nature, the Bessy-Boss personality most naturally rises to the top of a hierarchy, as those with Bessy-Boss personalities enjoy being in charge.  They are confident and focused and entirely comfortable enforcing rules..  On the other hand, Nellie-Nice individuals more naturally take a support and follower role, which better suits their own personal make-no-waves style. Nellie-Nice animals rarely ascend to the high rungs of the group’s power ladder in Nature.

If you find yourself struggling to be taken seriously in a management position or you’re experiencing pushback from staff that fail to complete assignments, meet deadlines or follow company policies, there is hope…from Mother Nature and a dog trainer!

In the human neighborhood of the animal world, by contrast, promotions and elevation within a work group are not based on size, physicality or who wins the most battles but rather, who is most accurate, loyal, dependable, productive, creative and yes– easy-to-work with.  Those are Nellie-Nice traits!  No wonder many people are promoted into management that are not natural-born leaders like their Bessy-Boss counterparts, and can find the responsibility of being “in charge” and all that goes with it, daunting and frustrating.

If you find yourself struggling to be taken seriously in a management position or you’re experiencing pushback from staff that fail to complete assignments, meet deadlines or follow company policies, there is hope…from Mother Nature and a dog trainer!

Think you’re too nice to be a boss? Think you don’t have what it takes? Think again!  Understand the power of routine to earn trust and respect from your staff.

When I am tasked with training a dominant dog that sees himself above me in our personal power relationship,  I don’t try to be Bessy-Boss.  I don’t need to be!  Instead, I influence through instinct. I know that every animal instinctively 1) trusts routine 2) will choose their most pleasant option and 3) is deeply satisfied by reward and recognition.   Every week we have a routine.  Every lesson has a predictable order where I am clear and fair. Through consistent routine, the dog learns to trust and respect me.   Instead of disciplining the dog for misbehavior, I jackpot the desired response with praise, adulation, and anything else that dog personally values.  (By contrast, his undesired behaviors carry no such benefits.)  Because of the animal’s innate instinct to trust through routine, and to choose pleasant outcomes over all others, a dog that is stronger than me is soon cooperating willingly.

Think you’re too nice to be a boss? Think you don’t have what it takes? Think again!  Understand the power of routine to earn trust and respect from your staff.  Start thinking of all the things you can standardize and routinize in your workplace, from meeting dependably on a set day and time with your key people, to having a certain day of the week that a routine report is due, to creating standardized forms to assure all relevant data is collected so you don’t have to nag or chase down staff to get it.  Most importantly, understand and use the universal instinct to choose behaviors with the most pleasurable outcomes.  Instead of nagging your people to do better or be better, link more reward and recognition to jobs that are well done, goals that are met or tasks that are completed to your desired standard.

Follow this nature-based advice you may be on your way to receiving that coveted “Best Boss” coffee mug!  Even if you’re not a Bessy-Boss.

1 thought on “Are You Too Nice to be a Boss?”

  1. Jacqueline Irene Williams

    This is good stuff! And for all those girls who were not said to be ‘born leaders’ at school, here’s to you!

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Photo of author Camilla Gray-Nelson

Camilla Gray-Nelson

“No, I’m not your average coach or mentor, but that’s exactly why you should follow my unique perspective on life, love and career! I promise I’ll share things you won’t learn anywhere else, helping you become Enlightened, Empowered and Effective by decoding the life-changing secrets of Mother Nature herself.”

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