Many women have come to me over the years for help raising and training their young dogs. When we broach the inevitable subject of discipline, many start to shy away. It reminds me of conversations about raising kids, too! Moms want better control over both, but they are hesitant to set firm rules, enforce boundaries and you can forget any discussion about consequences! When asked why, many women reply, “I’m afraid they won’t like me.”
The irony is that to be loved, you must first be strong. Not bossy, but firm in your belief of who you are, confident that you are enough
Have you ever known a woman whose only goal was to be loved by someone? When their sole goal is to be loved, women can do stupid things. They come across as needy, clingy… weak! Dogs won’t follow a weak leader and growing children finding their way in the world don’t want a weak parent. Both want a strong and dependable protector and teacher. Decent men don’t like weak women either. Trust me, a man who wants a weak woman is someone you should stay away from! If your only goal is to be truly loved, I’m here to tell you that you may never achieve it.
The irony is that to be loved, you must first be strong. Not bossy, but firm in your belief of who you are, confident that you are enough and clear what you will accept in your life. Only then can anyone truly respect you and have a healthy love for you. Nature loves strength. It eschews weakness in all of its forms.
Understand Mother Nature and play her game wisely. Instead of worrying about your kids (or your dog) loving you, try being brave enough to set reasonable rules and enforce them. Stop questioning yourself and accommodating their every whim. Be clear about the behavioral boundaries of acceptable behavior in your household and enforce your rules quietly and consistently but always with love. Give where you must; take charge where you can. Don’t be a doormat — be a Diva!
Once you’re strong…being loved just happens.